on doing & undoing

Chelsea Call

Muley Point

September 10th, 2019

I listened,

For invitations, for direction. 

I witnessed,

The birds fly, the lizards walk.

I learned,

From my mistakes, from my misappropriation.

My fingers grasped the brush, painting prayers of forgiveness and healing onto sandstone. 

Sandstone carried from nearby, a process of collection and simultaneous disruption.

The sun laid to rest as I set the last stone. A feeling of completion comforted my aching low back, fatigued from a day of carrying stones, carrying prayers. 

Engagement ensued; a monumental cairn now altered the landscape. In sharing my project I was guided to consider acknowledging the context of my creation, the land I was on, and the process of permission. After a night’s sleep the decision was made to take the life-size cairn down. With assistance from other land art’s participants I began returning stones to the earth in an effort to mediate watershed flow, return shelter to non-human beings, and honor the landscape - unaltered. 

Guilt surged throughout my body as I began returning the sandstone to the earth. I felt shame in my intentions going array, my lack of awareness in action to first consult the people’s native to this area in the construction of my creation. As I witnessed others hold my prayers I felt an extreme vulnerability. Old stories ran through the space between my ears. 

Then the embodiment settled in. As I physically moved the rocks and engaged with other’s I realized this was the true piece, the process of undoing. In allowing myself to remain unattached to the final piece and ask for assistance in the process of undoing, my original intentions were illuminated. Although different from my original intentions, the act of undoing returned the prayers to the land and invited other’s to connect in my overall learning.

I learned,

To ask for permission, to pause before creating. 

In solidarity and love,

chelsea